Fear. Mistrust. Judgement. Anger. Pride.

I’m considering a month long experiment –  this morning in my quiet time I so enjoyed my extended time on the back porch with just a cup of coffee and the scripture, that I became disgusted with myself.

I realized that I am so lazy and waste so much time.  I remember a time – and not too long ago – when I passionately pursued my relationship with the Lord.  Where did that go?  How did I get to here?

Through some recent experiences and observations that have been placed before me, I have spent a bit of time reflecting and getting really honest with myself… Frankly, that can be a really scary place.   In that introspection, I didn’t like what I saw.  When I peel off the sanguine exterior and the professional demeanor, I have come to realize just how true the old saying “… you are what you eat…” is in my life.  Ha ha… not because I’ve become a cup of coffee or anything, but because of what my life has become… self absorbed, stressful, angry, and negative.  Those characteristics are NOT what I am nor what I want to be.  As a result of them, I’ve found myself more distanced from my family and friends and find myself a little lonely.

Those who know me, may not yet see it because mostly it stays on the inside, just simmering like a big pot of chili on low heat on the back eye of the stove.  But I know it’s there.  I know it wouldn’t take much for the pot to boil over and splatter that hot chili all over my kitchen and potentially on my family and friends.

How did it I get here?  Fear. Mistrust. Judgement. Anger. Pride.  These are my demons I battle regularly.  They seem to have the most impact when my life is hectic and God get’s pushed out of my schedule so I can watch TV.  There.. how’s that for being real? The idiot box is the prime source of everything negative, fearful, judgmental and self absorbing.  The other biggest source other people.  So many people are fearful, mistrusting, judgmental, angry, and self-absorbed… just like me.

This morning, I honestly and actually turned my own stomach.

So in my time with Daddy this morning, this little idea sprouted in my head…  (I’m fairly sure I know where it came from…  see James 1:17)

I’ve been captivated for the last several weeks on

Philippians 4:8 (The Message) Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.

What would it look like if for 30 days, I intentionally chose to eliminate every form of extraneous, non-best,  input and influence from my life?  What if (where I have control) I replace every worldly noise clamoring for my attention with something that kept my attention and focus on the Lord?  What would that look like?

What if I renewed my mind with the God’s word in every way, shape, and form I could find?

Romans 12:2 (New King James Version) 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

What if I bathed myself in that which was true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy?

What if I was intentional about not wasting any time and for 30 days specifically focused on ONE THING… SOMETHING SPECIFIC… – be it passion for Him, creativity, patience, wisdom, humility, mercy, etc. – for the next 30 days?

What if I consumed everything I could get from God with every spare moment?

I don’t know what it will look like, but I’m pretty excited about the journey.  Our pastor this morning quoted that God’s word is a “lamp unto my feet” (Psalms 119:105) and is meant to reveal the next step.

I wonder where my next step will be?

I will keep you posted on the journey….  It starts soon….

…Running After Papa



Fear God… nothing else…

Exodus 20:18-21 (NKJV) 18 Now all the people witnessed the thunderings, the lightning flashes, the sound of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking; and when the people saw it, they trembled and stood afar off. 19 Then they said to Moses, “You speak with us, and we will hear; but let not God speak with us, lest we die.”
20 And Moses said to the people, “Do not fear; for God has come to test you, and that His fear may be before you, so that you may not sin.” 21 So the people stood afar off, but Moses drew near the thick darkness where God was.

God’s really working on me in His holiness and what the fear of the Lord means, and in the process, I’ve gotten really ticked at how the enemy has taken everything that God has created – remember that God created everything for good – and twisted it into some sort of shackle to restrain, control, and manipulate mankind with.

There have been times during my children’s lives that they have expressed a fear of something, be it a roller coaster or a bully or a new situation, and I almost always respond with the same thing. “Fear God and nothing else.” I don’t mean that as a trite quip  just to satisfy giving them some sort of response, I want that repetitive statement to sink deep into the core of who they are and resonate within their spirit. I want it to sink deep into the core of who I am and resonate within my spirit too! It’s just as much for me as it is for them. I struggle with fear for them as much as any parent who loves their children.

Here were the Israelites who feared that God would kill them right after they had seen all the miracles God performed to free them from their bondage and slavery.  He chose them.  He saved them.  Yet, they feared He would kill them because they witnessed his amazing power, majesty and glory on the mountain.  He gave clear instruction on what was going to happen and how to prepare and respond to it (see Exodus 19), yet they still walked in fear.  They walked the wrong kind of fear of the Lord, the kind of fear that cripples and paralyzes us in our journey with and toward God.  Holy Fear is a fear of respect and humility – knowing that God can AND has every right to zap me off the face of the earth.  I deserve nothing that He affords me.  That is Holy fear.  Holy fear is NOT being afraid to enter into his presence or approach his throne if you are a believer (Eph 3:12, Heb 4:6, 1 John 5:14).

They were living a picture of Psalms 23.  Verse 6 says “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”  Interesting word in that verse is the Hebrew word hesed which means “a love or affection that is steadfast based on a prior relationship.”

For Israel, it was based on the promise and relationship God made with Abraham, Issac and Jacob.  For you and me it’s based on the prior relationship God the Father has with God the Son (Jesus).  His redemptive power through my submission to His lordship is the basis of God’s hesed in my life.

Fear God… nothing else.

Running After Papa…